Caught in the net

I’ve been caught up in all the little details lately.  Life outside of art is moving at a brisk pace.  It pounds the sidewalk with determined feet.  Each step sends shockwaves rattling up through my legs, jarring my teeth and the delicate space of the brain.  That mad rush of movement is just a step behind Change.  Gnashing its teeth, it strains, tries to extend beyond the space it inhabits  to step in line with Change, to move beyond so, instead, Life is setting the pace, dictating the course.  Back and forth, they exchange the lead.  The end result is a long list, filled with things that have happened, been accomplished, attempted.

Admittedly, some of the things on that list are satisfying.  Being able (mostly) to meet the demands of an insane amount of activity at work, locating and BUYING a house, moving, prepping a conference, dealing with my first homeowner issue, finding a roommate, finishing the WBC camping trips, going to Coachella, trying to be a good daughter, granddaughter and girlfriend. (I say trying because only they can say if I’ve been successful or not.) One thing, however, is missing.  Art.  Writing to be precise.

Enter the phase where, with a few major exceptions, I am running out of excuses.  It’s conflicted moments like this when the Mumford and Sons lyric loops in my head:  Where you invest your love//you invest your life.  I’m not sure why, but it’s easy to get lost in the details, in doing things for others, in giving away my time and energy to an indefinite number of the mysterious category of “things”.  To be sure, I do have time.  I have 24-hours of it everyday.  Being honest, there are at least 10 minutes out of everyday frittered away on frivolous things. (Case in point: the insidious internet.) It’s easy to let those minutes slip away.

Perhaps it’s a more courageous act to rebel against my own sloth, and remember why I love to write, and what the simple act gives me. In the busiest of days, and the crappiest of moods, SOMETHING can be done toward my art (and yours, for that matter).  So, now that the Gratitude Experiment is at an official close, enter the next experiment.  For the month of May I will invest my love in writing, intentionally, every day.  Some results may appear here, mostly I anticipate to share insights and musings from the process.

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2 thoughts on “Caught in the net

  1. Pingback: Damn it! « Ananke and Eos

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